I am sleepy, but quiz bowl is tomorrow, so i will blog tomorrow night! i promise!

Today was wierd. Everyone was cranky at least for an hour or two today. I dont know why. There must have been something in the air, or the water. It was quite annoying.

Oh, and you can make ice cream from liquid nitrogen!! It was neat!! I wanted to play with the liquid N, but i wasnt allowed to. Sad...

But, the ice cream was good. It was strawberry. I don't like strawberry. But i liked this stuff.

I'm tired and worn out from this week, don't ask me why. I just am. And, i havent slept enough at all. So, i was potentially-cranky-but-emotional-instead today. I cried, for like the third time this year. Wait, maybe the fourth, i cried over chemistry at least twice, so this must be time four. I *never* cry that much. Certainly not over something so stupd. Well, ok, it wasnt stupid, but i stress about it *way* too much, and i realize this, but i cant help it.

What is "this," do you wonder?

"This" is my knowledge that due to certain circumstances i absolutely have to get the best job that i can as fast as i can in case something happens so i can take care of my mom. And that i dont have the money to get into college without full scholarships, and that my scholarships ride on me having straight A's. So, when my record is in danger of decreasing, i stress. Badly. Because without the A's, i wont get the scholarships, without those, i wont get into the college i need to get into to get a higher paying job, without that, if any of the likely and disastrous possibilities occur to make my dad;s already precarious health get worse, i will not be able to support my mother and myself, b/c she doesnt know english well enough to get a job here. Gah. See, i'm stressing again. And i spaz even more, because whenever i say "Oh dear gods i'm so worried about that test!!!" people get *mad* at me for daring to express worry when i have a better grade than they do. Which makes me mad. And incredibly disappointed in people. But that's another story.

The point is, I was feeling emotional today, and i cried, which i rarely do, and it left me feelig wierd. And i was just talking about it. I wasn't upset in the slightest, i was just explaining why i worry so much, and then i just... Well, "burst into tears" is too explosive. I just kinda... overflowed? But, Megan made me feel better, she was very nice! I know she doesnt read this, but i will have to tell her i appreciate.


You know, i really had not intended to post anything long tonight, just a quick little note that i would tomorrow, but it looks like i didnt quite manage. Hm.

Ah vell.

Ja neh, for now!